So, I'm at Wawona. Will just be here a couple months to work with Jerrod on random maintenance things.  Frankly, I think they're hooking me up, the poor, lazy, lost soul—and I'm very thankful.  Getting back from Peru wasn't too bad, I didn't think.  Being in the Seattle area and interning at World Vision seemed to go fine, I thought.  But then getting "home" again to Michigan—that was when I had time to especially waste time, and I sure did it well.  

I'm quite prone to paralysis when I don't know how to proceed—if I'm faced with something a little daunting or completely new, or these days it can just be having to talk with people that I feel completely inferior to and out of touch with.  Which means most anyone.  So I've been at home just being at home.  No job searching or soul searching.  No networking or shadowing.  No journaling or praying.  Just existing with the cat.  

Somehow it worked out to come here, and my hope is to refocus a little bit.  I'd like to get used to working again, and maybe feel like I've got potential somewhere, even though I'm obviously not going to be the immediate genius creative mind I must have grown up just assuming I'd be "someday."  Yeah, whoever/whatever gave me that impression:  you suck.  I think encouragement is good from people, but I'm realizing that some folks (myself) need a different kind than what I guess is society's standard.  You make me lazy.

Jerrod gave me the chainsaw, explained some things, and put me to work.  My forearms are shaky and my back is tired.  Go work.  Anthony and I are going on a run in a little bit.  I'm pretty excited about running here.  And it's nice to be back in this environment.  I'm just going to try and be better here.  Maybe that will mean more writing.  Maybe just more working.  Maybe more thinking.  Maybe slowing down?  I think I already take life pretty slowly.  Pretty freaking slowly indeed.  What's wrong right with me?