Time to read the male

What must I do to get the MAN love?


Hunting's better this season, what with the warmer temperatures and increasing technology.  The deer aren't freezing during the summer, and the turkey are taking advantage of more people glued to their screens.

How about those Mets!  Didn't they beat the Bulls the other night something fierce?  And I think I heard Manchester United is coming into town this summer to play the Seahawks at some point.  I'm stoked.  Byron James.  Heck yes.  Bring the beer.

Weiner is retarded!  He thought he had to live up to his name.  Osama for prez!  Palin for Secretary of State!  Let's bring back Newt!  Less taxes!  More money for hunting!  Gun rights!  Bomb a new country!

I did 487 pushups in a minute last night before bed.  No biggie.  I think tomorrow's a rest day, so I'll just be doing 350.

Look at that girl.  She's a 9!  Smokin!  *Repugnant whistle

I got the new Z56 Turbo Torque Reinforced Stainless Steel monkey wrench the other night.  For my lawn chair, sucka!  And I welded two push mowers together for twice the cutting width.

I grilled steak for every meal last month until I found the secret:  sweat.  Drizzle a little sweat over the sauce after exactly 5 minutes and 16 seconds and wa-BAM shi-ZAM you got yourself some real steak.

Noticed seven new beard hairs when I shaved again after lunch today.


...I can't do it.  Thanks for reading anyway, Ben.